Tuesday, July 3, 2012

When apples attack

                                          Sorry I have been away I cut my self you would think this is not such a big deal because it is just a thumb but when one types with 2 hands and forgets one has stitches it is painful. How did I do this? well in my quest for eating healthier I was making and apple peanut butter pita with agave when the apple attacked me I was as shocked as anyone. I was unaware of the sinister side of apples only have known them for their deliciousness and vitamins before, their blood thirsty nature was unknown to me before. thanks to our new super sharp knives the apple got a really good shot in after I realized I was not going to stop bleeding on my own I went to the clinic just down the road. as we got in the car to go the radio blared "you cut me me open and I keep bleeding keep keep bleeding..." I found this hilarious my hubby did not and thought I might be suffering shock or something as I laughed while I bleed next to him. So we get there and they take me back almost right away because really how often does one get attacked by an apple. They stitch me up 5 stitches on my thumb should have been 6. now you may think big whoop 5 stitches and 6 days later and your still complaining about it. remember thumbs are not that big  5 should of been 6 stitches takes you from next to the thumb to diagonally 2/3s of the way to the other side of the nail, that is a lot of the thumb.

                                So a few things I have noticed besides I space bar with my left thumb is that for a women to dress without using her thumbs is near impossible if she wishes in any way shape or form to where a bra not happening with out help. If you have a dog that loves you she will give you slobbery apple piece after she hunted it down and killed the offending fruit when you get home from the hospital. You will have to keep her from trying to devotedly help you heal your thumb even in your sleep and she tries to sneak up and just clean it up for ya while you rest. Also when one so hunting down a very fast black spider that ran down the wall right by your head before you were just about to go to sleep you will mistake your own stitches for said spider on your thumb at least 3 times possibly 4. There is a lot of time spent thinking about the Hollywood movies and tv shows that  show people stitching them selves up with just a wince and you thinking what frigging liars they are because you had only 3/4 numbing in your last 2 stitches and winced and while they were putting the numbing stuff on you kicked the table and sucked air. frigging Hollywood no one is tough enough to do that with out at least gritting their teeth. then you think wow I have seen way too many movies with those scenes in them. then then you go to you have seen to many movies in general. Then you think maybe just maybe movies and TV has screwed with your view of the world and how it works.. nah that's crazy: back to the list of this affected by a stabbed thumb...  One can not do dishes and dishes will take over the entire kitchen.  No one finds the keep bleeding being on the radio while you bleed is funny as you do and finally: NO one believes apples attacked you. Apples being fruity are mistaken for sweet and tasty but beware the apple waiting  to pounce. They made a movie about the harmless tomatoes when it is the apple you should be warned of.


  1. So sorry about your thumb... but this post was great and I LOVE the pics!! Thanks for the giggle. :)

    1. I am so glad you liked it I was writing it in my head for days. the thumb is fine, I like to make dramatic statements about it. Not sure why I am finding so much humor in this but I can not stop making the I am dieing because of my thumb comments. I get the stitches out on Friday.